


bait and switch

by Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Canon Compliant, Humor, M/M, iwaizumi is long-suffering, oikawa is a shit, suga is an enabler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 16:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19704886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody/pseuds/Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody
Summary: “You’re not serious?”“Suga-chan, when am I not serious?” Oikawa cradled his mug in two hands to warm his fingers. “Besides, I’m not hurting anyone.”“I think your teammates are going to lose their goddamn minds once they find out.”...Oikawa's university volleyball team knows he's in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school. They imagine a sweet-faced girl that matches his sarcasm with patience. They are so incredibly wrong.





	bait and switch

**from: iwa-chan <3:** Did you want to go watch the seijoh/karasuno match this weekend? I have work off

 **from: tooru:** i dont think i can :( coach INSISTS we will benefit from a full weekend of conditioning

 **from: tooru:** and i ask u iwa-chan

 **from: tooru:** when the Fuck does he think im gonna study for my thermodynamics midterm

 **from: iwa-chan <3:** In the evening?

 **from: tooru:** iwa-chan. no. weekend evenings are for drowning my regretful academic decisions in tequila

 **from: iwa-chan <3:** Oh yes how thoughtless of me to forget. My sincerest apologies for assuming that you could be responsible

 **from: tooru:** rude! i am plenty responsible

 **from: iwa-chan <3:** Sure if you say so

 **from: tooru:** so mean :P

 **from: tooru:** anyway maybe i could convince him to let us have saturday off? ill see

 **from: iwa-chan <3:** Let me know if you do, my mom wants to have you over for dinner

 **from: tooru:** she wants me over for dinner? iwa doesn’t she know im already dating you?

 **from: iwa-chan <3:** Oh my god that wasn’t even clever you dumbass

“Hey, Oikawa! Quit texting your girl and get over here, I wanna practice receiving your serves.” The team’s libero grinned at him as Oikawa chuckled and put his phone back in his bag.

“I think you meant _try_ to receive my serves, Saito-san. Would you like a couple of soft hits to warm up first?”

“Oh, you’re gonna eat it, Oikawa. Good thing your girl’s not here to see!”

Honestly, going off to separate universities had been about as painless as it could have been. Prior to graduation, Iwaizumi had spent many hours consoling and cheering a rather morose Oikawa, who was sure of the failed romantic relationship and irreparably broken friendship that was to come with distance. With Oikawa headed to Tokyo to play for a big name university and Iwaizumi to stay in Miyagi for a smaller college, Oikawa couldn’t fathom that their relationship—and more importantly, their friendship—could remain familiar and stable.

But it did. Oikawa decided (regrettably) to pursue a double major in physics and chemistry; Iwaizumi found a calling in sports medicine. They made regular time during the week to video chat and to study for their organic chemistry classes together. When their schedules matched up (a rare event), Oikawa would make the trip back to Miyagi to visit his family and Iwaizumi, and perhaps use his free time to show up unannounced to volleyball practice at Aoba Josai, striking terror and celebrity awe into the new players. The last time he visited home, he opted to stay with Iwaizumi in his apartment, and Iwaizumi graciously allowed Oikawa to pick the movie they watched. Iwaizumi lamented this lapse into generosity within the first fifteen minutes of _The Legend of Boggy Creek_.

Their first semester apart wasn’t so painful, Oikawa supposed. They texted often. Sometimes they would get to see each other in person. They argued over petty things like always. It was nice.

“Perhaps, Saito-san, but I’m fairly certain Iwa-chan is better at receives than you are?” Oikawa tapped a finger to his chin in mocking thought.

His teammates laughed. Saito grinned. “Oh, you’re on, pretty boy.”

...

Something Oikawa hadn’t meant to do was go along with his teammates’ assumption that his high school sweetheart was a girl. Well, he hadn’t meant to initially. When he realized three weeks in to the semester that he had only ever referred to Iwaizumi aloud as “Iwa-chan,” and never by pronouns, he decided to roll with it. Iwaizumi had never visited his campus, and after several weeks of being teased about his “girlfriend,” Oikawa wasn’t even sure his team would believe him if he told them that Iwa-chan was a ridiculously buff dude with a permanent scowl and a soft spot for children.

So it just kind of happened: Oikawa only ever referred to Iwaizumi by his pet name in front of his teammates, and his teammates relentlessly teased him about “the lady in Miyagi.”

“You’re not serious?”

“Suga-chan, when am I not serious?” Oikawa cradled his mug in two hands to warm his fingers. “Besides, I’m not hurting anyone.”

“I think your teammates are going to lose their goddamn minds once they find out.”

“With all the verbal abuse I get from them? They deserve it.”

“Yes, I’m sure you’re nothing but a victim,” Suga chuckled.

A weekly coffee break with Sugawara was one of the highlights of Oikawa’s university career. When he realized that Karasuno’s former setter was in his freshman seminar, he dropped himself right next to Sugawara out of curiosity. They hadn’t really interacted off of the court in high school, and Oikawa had always been interested in Mr. Refreshing. He quickly learned Sugawara to be his match in wit and snark: sharp, subtle, but sugar-coated. Every sarcastic jab was delivered with a radiant grin that left his victims dazed and unaware of their disparagement until much later.

“Of course I am.” Oikawa sniffed indignantly.

Suga laughed again. “Well, when he visits for the first time, make sure you film their reactions for me, would you?”

“Nothing less for you, you wicked creature.”

...

 **from: iwa-chan <3: **Send me your practice schedule for next month so I can get bus tix to come visit when you’re not busy

Oikawa grinned to himself. Oh, this would be _so_ much fun. Maybe he could invite Suga-chan to watch the meeting in person.

 **from: tooru:** of course bb anything for u ;)

 **from: iwa-chan <3: ** Perish

 **from: tooru:** D:

...

Iwaizumi had been wandering around the rec-plex for nearly 15 minutes with no success. The place was so fucking huge it took up nearly an entire block. Multiple floors with multiple courts, cardio, weights, Olympic-length pools—how was he supposed to surprise Oikawa if he couldn’t even find him? He sighed, considering spoiling his arrival by texting Oikawa for some goddamn directions.

Oikawa had had this weekend free, but Iwaizumi really wanted to meet the team that he was always snarking about. They seemed like good people if they could go toe-to-toe with how _extra_ Oikawa could be. So instead of coming in on Saturday morning, he had purchased tickets to arrive Friday afternoon to drop in on an optional practice.

Just as he pulled out his phone in defeat, Iwaizumi noticed another man walking past him with volleyball shoes dangling from his fingers and a duffel slung over his shoulder.

“Excuse me, are you going to practice for the varsity team?”

The man turned and smiled. “Hey, yeah. Whacha need?”

“I’m here to visit a friend on the team. Oikawa? We used to play together in high school.”

“No shit? Was he as much of an asshole then?” He laughed.

Iwaizumi grinned. “I’d wager you’ve mostly seen his good side, actually.”

“Jesus, I don’t know how ya handled him then. C’mon, the practice court is down this way. I’m Okabe, by the way.”

“Iwaizumi.”

“Nice t’ meetcha, Iwaizumi-san.”

...

“Hey, Oikawa!”

Oikawa didn’t look up from his position on the court. “One moment, Okabe-san. I think you can wait until I’m done, as you’re late. Again.” He sent the ball into the air, beginning a run up for a jump-float serve. Tricky thing, he wanted to start to put some force behind it while maintaining the precision of the fall.

“Literally why are you so goddamn rude all the time.” Oikawa faltered on the run up, losing his concentration and sending the ball careening aggressively into the net. His head whipped around towards the grumbled question.

“Iwa- _chan_!” His voice pitched up in his delight, he turned away from his practice partner on the court to bolt full speed directly at Iwaizumi.

“‘Iwa-chan?’” Echoed from his teammates in confusion.

Iwaizumi sighed at Oikawa’s performative antics and begrudgingly braced for impact. Oikawa launched himself bodily at Iwaizumi, long legs wrapping around his waist as Iwaizumi caught him and stumbled a bit to prevent them both from crashing onto the floor. “You are nearly ten centimeters taller than me at this point, dumbass, you can’t just jump at me like a child.”

“And yet Iwa-chan caught me!” Oikawa sing-songed, hugging Iwaizumi’s head to his chest.

“Dumbass, get the fuck off and introduced me like an actual goddamn adult.” Iwaizumi let go suddenly and Oikawa yelped as he caught and righted himself.

Oikawa looked over at his flabbergasted team, smiling smugly. “Team, Iwaizumi Hajime. Iwa-chan, team.”

“He’s your…?”

“Boyfriend.”

“You _fucker_!” Okabe laughed, the first to stop gawking. “You’ve been bullshitting us this entire time!”

Oikawa raised an eyebrow and tapped his chin. “Whatever could you mean? I said I was dating a childhood friend named Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi smacked his shoulder. “Oh my god, please tell me you did _not_ play that game for _four months_.”

Oikawa shrugged, trying to feign nonchalance as a shit-eating grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “They never asked if ‘Iwa-chan’ was a girl.”

Iwaizumi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. “I am so sorry, Okabe-san, I was wrong. Clearly he is still on his constant bullshit.”

Saito laughed. “Hey, at least now we know and can give him shit about dating someone clearly out of his league.”

Oikawa gasped. “Saito-san, that’s just false! How could you say such things?”

“I mean, you’ve looked at him, right?” Saito smirked. “He’s prettier than you, Oikawa. Face the facts and start taking notes.”

“Iwa-chan! I told you they were mean!” Oikawa whined, but his mouth upturned slightly as his eyes crinkled, betraying just how much he enjoyed the banter.

“Good. Someone needs to keep that ego in check when I’m not around.”

Oikawa huffed and put his hands on his hips. “Well, since you all are _clearly_ in good company of being atrociously rude, why don’t you join practice for a bit, Hajime? There are extra practice shoes in the locker room.”

...

“God, I wish I could’ve been there to see it.” Suga stirred a bit of honey into his mug.

“Sorry I didn’t record it, it was a surprise to me, too.”

“I’m just glad your team now has more to give you shit about.”

“Suga-chan!”

**Author's Note:**

> I did this as a writing exercise, as I haven't written any fic since I was in high school so many many years ago. I forgot how much fun it can be


End file.
